Paula and Gem

Today’s post was written by Paula, who visited my blog and sent me an email asking for advice.  This is her success story of finding a horse of her own. 

Ever since I was a little girl I recall wanting to be a cowgirl. I had this pair of cowboy boots that you would have thought were permanently attached to my feet. They were an old beat up pair of boots that were way too big, but no matter what the weather was like, I always had them on.

In the summer, my family and I would all pile into the car and head south to Alabama to visit my grandparents, which was always my favorite trip.  On the weekends my grandfather would go to the local flea market, and I would always beg to tag along because I knew they sold horses and ponies at the market.  My hope was that one day he might just buy me one, but ultimately I was always just as happy to get an opportunity to see them, pet them and maybe even give them a carrot stick that grandma would stuff in my pockets to pass out to the ponies.  Needless to say, my grandfather never bought me that pony, otherwise I may be writing a completely different story today, but those cowboy boots and trips to the flea market definitely fueled my desire.

Life’s priorities have a tendency of pulling us off the path of pursuing our childhood dreams and I was no exception to that rule.  I started my family at a very young age and my husband, family and career became my new passion.  However as the children got older they had their passions, their hobbies, their activities and they typically did not involve me!  My husband also had his passions, that he always found a way to make time for, I always made the excuse that I did not have time for hobbies or anything of that nature.

Luckily for me, I married an amazing man that knew of my love for horses. Knowing that I would never do it for myself he went out and purchased a gift certificate for me at a local riding stable to begin taking horseback riding lessons. Little did he know he didn’t just open a door but a floodgate that was busting at the seams!

I had been around horses occasionally throughout my life but never took any formal lessons.  Last December, at age 36, the oldest person in a class with not a single girl over the age of 12, I took my first riding lesson. One hour a week which just did not seem like enough! I stopped looking forward to Fridays and the weekend and could not wait for Wednesday nights at 7pm to roll around so I could head back to the barn!  Why hadn’t I done this sooner?

After the first month and my gift gertificate running out I started seeking out other places to take lessons.  I discovered that I had an acquaintance that owned a boarding stable and gave lessons. I started taking lessons with Dawn McCarty, a NBRA champion, in January.  I learned more in a week with Dawn than I learned all month at the other facility, but still found myself wanting to spend more time growing this little seed of passion from my childhood.

After a couple of months taking lessons with Dawn, I started talking to her about the possibility of buying my own horse and asking questions like, “Do you think I know enough, and do you think it is too early for me to be considering this?”  So I started researching, since I am not one to jump in quickly to this kind of a decision.  I was already feeling like I was moving too fast, after all, I had only started this new venture in December.

I spent many nights on the internet reading articles and searching for information for first time horse owners/buyers when I found the CowgirlDiary blog. My first email was titled “mid-life horse lover seeking advice”.  I could not have asked for a warmer welcome from Kerrie!  So many of the other blogs and articles I came across were not maintained and the information was dated.  Kerrie provided me with some of the best advice that was the foundation for the search I was about to venture into.

As I began my search, the first thing I did was let go of the picture I had in my mind of what I thought was the perfect horse. You know that horse that you dreamed of when you were a little girl, and if you grew up during the same time as I did, “Black Beauty” was your horse of choice. 

I let Dawn, my trainer, know I was looking so that she could put the word out among her horse friends, and I turned once again to the internet. I was surprised at the number of websites there were with horses listed for sale. Equinenow.com and Equine.com were two that I turned to most frequently to search, because they were so easy to use.  I spent most of my evening after getting the family settled looking for that perfect horse.  I always looked at the pictures because I wanted a horse that appealed to me, but looks were not the main priority.  The next thing I would look at was the age.  I knew I wanted a horse that was a little older with a little more experience than me.  I would then read the description, looking for phrases like “all around good horse”, and words that described the horse’s disposition.  Kerrie told me in one of her emails that a horse is born with disposition, good or bad and it is not something you can train them to have, so this was a high priority.

After looking through listings night after night, weeding out the ones that I knew were just not a good fit, I set up a couple of appointments.  I found that I learned more getting out and looking than I did sitting on the computer reading through descriptions.  The more horses I looked at the more confident I became in my search, as I was armed with more information going in, and knew I was asking the right questions to get the information I needed to make a good decision.

Then came the day when I came across the one that challenged my will power to put all of that good information to use!  My Black Beauty, the most gorgeous 5-year-old Fresian gelding!  Yes he was young, yeah he did not have as much experience as I was looking for, I was riding western and he was riding primarily English, but oh…wow, my dream horse!  It turned out he was boarded at a stable right down the street from another prospect I was going to see and I just could not resist.

We went out to see him and he was even more beautiful in person!  He seemed to have a quiet demeanor and was not 100% finished, but very well under way.  When I rode him he had the smoothest lope of any horse I had ever ridden, but did not seem to respond to some of the cues I had become accustomed to using in my lessons.  Trying to be a good student to my teachers, I decided to go and see the other 3 horses I had lined up to see that afternoon, and not make a rash decision in that moment.  I was thankful that I waited.

We went to a barn 10 minutes down the road where we looked at two other horses and Gem! Gem was a 13 year old Paint.  She had been used as a 4H horse by a young girl who had her for her entire life and was going off to college.   Standing 16 HH Gem was a big solid girl.   I always wanted a bigger horse, and she fit the bill!  I rode the other two horses first and then Gem… she listened to my cues, and she knew how to neck rein–everything I knew she seemed to understand, too.  She was calm and quiet and just had that personality that made it easy to fall in love with her.  She seemed to be a fit for all of those things Kerrie told me I needed to look for!  Age, experience, suitability, training level, disposition, and she was pretty to boot!

I decided to make an offer pending a vet check, which the seller accepted, and a couple of days later we came back with the vet.  The peace of mind that the vet provided far exceeded the cost, and I was happy we made the decision to have the exam before commencing the sale.  Gem was found to be in overall good health and we started making arrangements to bring her home.

By March I was officially a horse owner–a little girl’s dream come true in 3 months after waiting nearly 30 years!  Gem is now staying at Dawn’s barn where I continue to take lessons, and am not limited to my 1 hour a week but have a new challenge of balancing home life and horse life!

At my age, I truly did not think that this was a dream that would ever have an opportunity to surface again, and had it not been for my husband cracking that door for me it never would have.  I am so thankful for his support as this has brought a different kind of joy to my life that I never knew it could.

As wives and mothers, we have a tendency to put all our energy, passion and heart into our family.   I think it is just our nature as women.  However, there comes a time when we have to re-discover our own passion and find a way to be good to ourselves.

Thanks for sharing your story, Paula!  We wish you and Gem the best, and look forward to hearing more as your story continues to unfold.  So glad you found a trustworthy friend in Gem!

Tagged as: buying a horse, horse advice, Horse Stories, my first horse, stories from readers