Friendship With Horses

It’s been awhile since I’ve had the chance to just spend the day following my horse around. But today I was thinking back to when I was a kid, when I would be at the barn all day, not necessarily riding, but just spending time with the horses. There’s a lot to be said for getting solid hours of horse time.

When I was young, it was something we were often chided about. Either we were taking too long getting saddled up and brushing our horses whole body rather than just where the saddle fit, and Dad needed us to hurry up and “quit babying your horse!” because there was cattle work to be done. Or we had chores or homework left undone back at the house, but we had escaped to the barn from the time school was out until Mom called us for supper. And we were often in trouble because we were just out goofing around with the horses.

I miss goofing around with horses. There was always a better rapport between me and the horse if I had a lot of time to put into into the relationship. I know for certain that the shortcomings in my horses now are a direct result of my lack of time for them. Being around a horse gives you the opportunity to watch them, see how they react, what they are afraid of and what they enjoy, and it gives a trainer a better idea of how to get the most out of the horse.

I rode my mare Daisy last weekend, and am sad to admit it was the first time I’d ridden her in months (due to winter and muddy conditions and my poor work ethic when it’s cold outside). But saddling her up, I considered the fact that she hadn’t been ridden lately, and when I asked her to trot off away from the other horses, sure enough—she balked and came to a screeching halt with a hump in her back that indicated I had better be careful. Never mind that I’ve owned this horse for going on seven years, and she ought to behave better; I babied her along with encouraging pats and subtle leg squeezes, ignoring the cowgirl in me that said, “Come on, this horse knows better!” Because I’ve seen Daisy buck, and I don’t think I’m quite cowgirl enough to stay with her if she was pushed too hard at the wrong moment. So we had a nice polite discussion and she obliged by going on our way and completing our ride without incident. But it was plain and clear that I haven’t spent enough time with her lately.

I used to ride all day every day, and sometimes three or four horses a day. Some days when we worked cattle, we would be gone from sun-up to sun-down, and never get off the horse. Those were the good days, and you could literally feel the bond between the horse and you strengthen. When you’ve gone through a full day’s work, sometimes involving climbing steep gullies, spooking at startled pheasants, gathering a herd of cattle spread out over a section of land, chasing down and turning back a calf that ran away, getting off and opening gates and leading through them, focusing on so much work and accomplishing it as a team—that’s when a true friendship with your horse is made.

I get a lot of reader’s questions, and so often they’re asking how they can strengthen their bond with their horse. A bond is never my goal when I train a horse—it is a by-product of getting a lot of work done, and when you and the horse have come through a lot and covered a lot of miles together, it’s something that becomes tangible. You and the horse are an inseparable team.

I wrote this poem for my horse Rudy when I was looking at leaving him and going to college. I had so much affection for him, and I wanted to portray my feelings for him in a poem, so here it is:

Friend Of Mine
Friend of mine, across these hills we’ve wandered,
From daylight’s dawn until the moonlight’s end.
Hand in hand, we’ve roamed the plains together.
Down life’s rough trails, you’ve always been my friend.

Friend of mine, you’ve always been my one companion.
Dawn to dusk, together we will roam.
Friend of mine, you’re a horse I’ll love forever.
Friend of mine, we’re goin’ home.
© Kerrie Tischer

Coming into spring, I want to put as much time as I can into my horses. I want to get that understanding and bond with them that I know is attainable if you put the time into it that you should. And that’s my advice if you want a bond with your horse as well—spend more time with him. Even an inexperienced horse owner can learn from just spending time with the horse and observing everything the horse does. A horse is speaking all the time, and when you spend enough time around him, you’ll find yourself start to listen, and then the horse will begin to listen to you in return.

Photos of my friend Andrea and her horse, used with permission © Samantha Owenson Photography

Tagged as: bonding with a horse, country lifestyle, horse memories, horse riding, Horse Training, horseback riding, riding horses